Today, I’m turning off anything with a voice or lyrics. If it was summer, I might be able to hear the distant buzz of insects, but for now, on a January Monday, I’m simply going to sit with my thoughts for a while. There’s traffic outside, a little bit of birdsong and a ticking Ikea clock that measures out the hours in a workmanlike fashion.
I’m struggling a bit, at the moment. Partly due to recalibrating Ye Olde Work/ Life Balance ( swinging wildly towards too much of the former, and little of that productive – more administrative stuff that eats away at the hours of daylight till I reach darkness without once having put brush to paper), partly due to not enough regular running ( how dumb am I, to have discovered a coping strategy, then not grab it with both hands?) and partly because on a daily basis, the fog rolls in and the fog rolls out and some days are far better than others and today isn’t one.
Sitting quietly with my thoughts? Who am I kidding? That’s for when the lights go out. For now, there’s a to-do list gnawing at my arm and an insuperable mountain of endless, tedious, probably pointless admin blocking access to my watercolours. Apologies for such a short offering today, but longer ones will follow.
One good thing to do for yourself today? Give yourself permission to take time out for you. Supper can wait. The dog will sulk, but she/he can wait too. The child/children won’t die of neglect if you plank them in front of some brain candy for a while. Your partner ditto. Allow yourself the space to think about what you’d really like to do this time next week ( within reason) and book it. That thing on aircraft instruction sheets where it says, first fasten the seatbelt around yourself then around your infant? That. Look after yourself.